Three Short Interludes
by KidKourage
Summary: Just as the title would suggest, these are three short stories which take place within the context of earlier posts of mine. Gaz meets Mike, Zim has an evil plan, and KidK and 'Nny share some music. Fun is had by all, in some weird, twisted way.
1. This Might Be the Start of a Beautiful R...

Three Short Interludes

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage

Part 1--'This Might Be the Start of a Beautiful Rivalry' 

          Now, before I begin this little tale of extreme video gaming, let me explain the premise behind the three stories I am about to impart to you.  These short fanfictions were originally supposed to be subplots in other tales I have already posted, but though they are nice and fun, they didn't make the final cut for the larger stories.  However, the ideas just wouldn't go away, and remained floating in my brain, so I've decided to yank them out of there by finally writing them down.  And there you have it--these stories are stories simply because I can't keep my insanity to myself.  So let's get started, shall we?

This first happy little anecdote takes place within the context of The Plan…Thingy, my third Invader Zim fanfiction.  In case you don't remember or didn't read that one, here's a little summary: Zim wants revenge on the Wal-Mart employees who dared to lie to him in Wal-Mart (of DOOM), and enlists the aid of our heroine KidK.  More specifically, he wants to use her garage to build some weaponry for his attack.  But how to get KidK's Mom, Dad, and brother out of the house?  KidK ingeniously plays upon Mike-the-Brother's instinctual need to buy every Game-Boy game in existence, and sends her family on a wild goose-chase to find a game that doesn't even exist, thus buying Zim the time he needs to construct his tools of vengeance.  And so, our story begins…

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I'm just telling you what she said--that she saw a commercial for the new Dragon Warrior game.

KidK's Dad (skeptically):  Have there ever been commercials for Game-Boy games before?

Mike-the-Brother:  Well…no…but if that game is out then I _need_ it!

KidK's Mom:  That's what you said about Harvest Moon 2, and you never play that anymore.

Mike-the-Brother:  Listen, I have like 50 games.  So of course I can't play them all at once!  That's how come I don't play Harvest Moon anymore--because I'm working on something else right now!

KidK's Mom:  Well, if you're working on something else, why do you need a new game?

Mike-the-Brother:  Because if I don't buy it when it first comes out, it'll get sold out by the time you guys finally let me have it, and then it'll be even harder to find!

KidK's Dad:  He's got a point there, LuAnn.

KidK's Mom:  Oh, you just buy those kids whatever they want, don't you?  You always act like you're not going to, but then you're always the first to cave.

KidK's Dad:  I just want my kids to be happy.  (it's true, he does!  ^.^)

KidK's Mom:  *sigh*  OK, Mike, get your coat on.  We'll go over to the mall.

Mike-the-Brother:  Cool!

About fifteen minutes later, the three arrive at the Babbages in the Burlington Center Mall.

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, no, the Ugly-Face Girl is working today!

KidK's Mom:  Keep your voice down, Mike.  That's not nice.  (she catches a glimpse of 'Ugly-Face Girl')  Though she really should do something about her skin…

KidK's Dad:  Come on, let's just look for the game and get out.

They scan the shelves of Game-Boy games and, unsurprisingly, fail to discover a new Dragon Warrior.

Ugly-Face Girl:  Can I *snuffle* help you with something?

KidK's Dad:  Uh, we're looking for a game called Dragon Warrior.

Ugly-Face Girl:  Well, we have One and Two, which are in one game, and Three, which is separate… (she _is_ helpful, though she seems to have a perpetual blocked nostril)

KidK's Dad:  Do you have those, son?

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah.

KidK's Mom:  Do you know if there's a new game about to come out?

Ugly-Face Girl:  Um…*sniffle* there's Dragon Warrior Monsters…

KidK's Mom:  But you don't have that?

Ugly-Face Girl:  I don't think so.  I could check…

KidK's Mom:  No, that's alright.  Come on, guys, we'll go to Best Buy.

KidK's Dad:  What?!  All the way to Moorestown?  And you say _I'm_ caving!

KidK's Mom:  Well, now that we know that there's actually a game coming out, there's no point in going home and listening to him complain for weeks.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey!  I wouldn't complain for weeks!  It'd be _months_ before I'd let you off the hook for making me miss a game!

A half-hour later, at the Moorestown Best Buy:

KidK's Dad:  Does anyone even know where they keep video games in this place?

KidK's Mom:  I think they've changed the layout.  Mike?

Mike-the-Brother:  No clue.  They took down the huge screen they used to play demos on above the game section, so now I don't have a point of reference.  Want to ask someone?

KidK's Dad:  OK.

He walks over to the nearest passerby, a very strange-looking person with a huge head balanced on an impossibly stick-thin body.

KidK's Dad:  Excuse me, but do you know where the video game section in this place is?  They changed the layout since we were last here and--

Happy Noodle Boy:  Gasp!  How is it that you know of my secret quest?!  Can it be that the hippo queen sent you to sabotage me?!  I challenge you to a duel!  Pokie Balls, go!  I choose you, Funkachu!  Deadly disco boogie attack!  Get down with your bad self and make some nachos!

KidK's Dad (bewildered):  Um, OK, sorry…

HNB:  I see you run in fear, bearded monkey-man!  But you shall not escape the wrath of my toe jam!  God that's a great belt!  I bow before its buckle of shininess and say cheese!  Take my picture, gramma!

KidK's Dad:  Excuse me?  '_Monkey-man_?'

HNB:  _Where_?!  My greatest enemy, _here_?  Holy labor unions, Aquaman!  Now I must ready my frisbees of ultimate triumph!  The bears will not pilfer my pic-a-nic basket _this_ time, Ranger!  (he runs off in a frenzy, leaving a very confused KidK's Dad behind)

KidK's Dad (returning to his family):  I think there's something _wrong_ with that guy.  Let's just look around, OK?

They wander around and finally local the video game section, which has indeed been toned down quite a bit.  Now they begin searching for the correct game.

KidK's Mom:  Would they be in alphabetical order?

Mike-the-Brother:  Doesn't look like it.

KidK's Dad:  You'd think they could get their act together and display these things properly.  I mean, they're popular, so why make it hard for people to find what they want?

Mike-the-Brother:  Mmm-hmm…just keep looking, Dad.

Just then, Mike is pushed out of the way of a display by a pretty, purple-haired girl wearing a skull necklace.

Gaz (annoyed): Can you _please_ move?  _Some_ people here _know_ what they want.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I know what I want too!  I just can't find it!  Now _you_ move!  (he pushes her back)

Gaz (menacingly):  Touch me again, and you lose fingers.  

Mike-the-Brother:  What are _you_ talking about, little girl?  You're probably here to buy Barbie's Dress Up!

KidK's Mom:  Now, Mike, don't fight…

Gaz (taunting):  That's right, do as your mommy says.

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, that's _it_!  I'll show you that I can play!  Let's have a contest right _now_!

Gaz:  Sorry, I don't have time to beat you now.  I have to go pay for this.  (she holds up her chosen game, 'War of Blood and Guts 11')

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh sure, you talk tough, but you won't even accept a challenge.  I'll bet you're afraid you'd lose!

Gaz (well, now he's done it--she's mad):  Me?  Lose to _you_?  Not on your _life_!

Mike-the-Brother:  Then let's go.  (he pulls out his Game-Boy)

Gaz:  Ha!  You don't even have a Game-Boy Advance yet?  Oh, this is going to be _easy_.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I don't rely on upgraded systems to make me a good gamer.  I have skills!

Gaz:  Skills at losing!  I'll make this quick and painless.  A single battle.  The game--Fists of Death.  Whoever loses buys the other person's game.

Mike-the-Brother:  You're on!

They link their games together and the fight begins.  The two onscreen warriors throw punch after punch, kick after kick, neither giving any ground.  Finally, Mike's fighter knocks Gaz's to the ground.

Mike-the-Brother:  Ready to give up yet?  (his character begins kicking Gaz's in the face repeatedly)

Gaz (smiling evilly):  Why would I give up when I'm about to win?

Suddenly, Gaz's warrior vaults up from his prone position and launches a furious barrage of attacks that soon knocks Mike's fighter out cold.

Mike-the-Brother (astonished):  How…how did you _do_ that?

Gaz:  It's my secret technique.  It's called lulling the opponent into a false sense of security.  But you did pretty good, considering.  And especially since you only have a Game-Boy Color.

Mike-the-Brother:  So how much do I owe you?

Gaz:  Thirty bucks.

Dib (walking up):  Are you _done_ yet, Gaz?

Gaz:  As soon as I collect my winnings, we can go.

Dib:  Oh, another victim?

Gaz:  Yeah.  At least this one put up a decent fight.  He's the first non-computer player I've ever had to use my best moves on.

Mike-the-Brother:  And you're the first non-computer player who's ever beaten me.

Dib:  You guys aren't going to…you know…declare yourselves soul mates or anything, are you?  'Cause I need to get home and start working on that Bigfoot trap.  He's bound need that belt sander again one of these days…

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, someday I want a rematch!

Gaz:  Why not?

Mike-the-Brother:  What was your name again?

Gaz:  It's Gaz.  

Mike-the-Brother:  I'm Mike.  And next time we meet, I'll be victorious!

Gaz:  In your dreams, pal.  Come _on_, Dib, what're you standing around for?  Let's _go_, already!

They exit, leaving Mike alone with his parents once more.

KidK's Dad:  Who was that?  One of your little skool chums?

Mike-the-Brother:  Nah, I've never seen her before in my life.  But I have the feeling I'll be seeing her again soon.  Weird.

KidK's Dad:  Well, I asked the worker guy over there if there was a new Dragon Warrior game coming out, and he said not for a month.  So if that's all you wanted, we can go home now.

Mike-the-Brother:  Man, am I gonna give my sister a piece of my mind when I get home…

And that's the story of how Mike's rivalry with Gaz began.  Heartwarming, no?  And so, our fake-game-searching trio goes back out to their car and drives home.  However, back at the Best Buy…

Employee Gerald:  Hey, mister, you're not supposed to take the disks out of the boxes!  You'll get them all mixed up!

HNB:  You dare attempt to purloin my treasure?!  Why, you must be the one the Ewoks spoke of!  The apricot preserves _warned_ me of your coming!  Have at you, filthy swine!  Moon Tiara Magic!  

With that, he begins flinging CD-ROMs at the hapless Gerald.  Eventually, some security guards come and pacify with Happy Noodle Boy by shooting him in the head.  Repeatedly.

_The End!_

Of This Story, Anyway 


	2. Unleash the Power!

Three Short Interludes

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage

Part 2--'Unleash the Power' 

          So, are you liking this kind of thing so far?  Are you?  Answer me, darnit!  I swear the printer is out to get me--it's looking at me funny, Mommy!  Hey, you know what?  In all the excitement I forgot to put my usual disclaimer at the beginning of the first chapter.  And I'm certainly not going to add it now.  So let's just say that I don't own anything but a bunch of comic books, too many action figures, and six 2002 calendars, three of which I don't have any need for.  That is to say, I don't own any of Jhonen's characters, because they are his and I would not like to be blasted by his laser-toting flying monkey minions.

The second in this trio of tales occurs during the events of my ninth installment, My Fair KidK.  You remember, the one where KidK meets the Tallest, against Zim's better judgment.  KidK's Mom and Dad are away visiting the beach and Atlantic City for the day, and so their sneaky daughter has taken this opportunity to purchase a karaoke machine of her very own.  While she sets it up, Zim and Gir go down to the Rite-Aid to buy orange juice and paper clips.  But for what purpose?  Well, be baffled no more, loyal readers, for you are about to find out!

At around ten o'clock on the day in which this story takes place, Zim and Gir are watching TV in an attempt to, as Zim has put it, 'use the enemy's own media to find out more about their pitiful defenses.'

Gir:  Oh no!  Now Wilma's going to think that Fred bought that diamond ring for _her_!  

Zim:  Ha!  That boorish Fred-human's plan to hide it has failed miserably!  So let's see…(he's taking notes) the males of the species are not very adept at concealing things, and the females have a tendency to jump to conclusions.  They are also easily distracted by shiny rocks.  Something to keep in mind.

Gir:  But what's Wilma gonna to do when she finds out the ring is really Barney's gift to Betty?

Zim:  Well, likely by that time Fred will have already done something stupid in an attempt to get enough money to buy another ring, so that _both_ Wilma and the lovely Betty can be distracted from the fact that their husbands are loutish, drunken mouth-breathers.

Gir:  Oh, hey, look!  Barney and Fred are going to fight a pro boxer to earn money!  How did you know that was going to happen?

Zim:  Well, since moving here I've had to do a great deal of research into human television, since KidK and her brother love it so much.  As you can see, it has paid off.

Gir (hardly paying attention):  No, _not_ commercials!  I wanna find out what happens!  (he quickly forgets what's going on)  Look, master!  It's my favorite show!

The TV is currently running that ad in which that short dude acts like he's going to steal Sunny Delight.

Short Dude:  When I control the power of the sun, I…will be…_unstoppable_!!!!  (he is blown away by a wave of Sunny D)

Announcer Voice:  Unleash the power of the sun!

Zim (leaping up from the couch):  That's it!

Gir:  I like the cute little man too…

Zim:  No, Gir, didn't you hear what they were talking about?  I've been watching TV all this time hoping that someday the humans would accidentally slip up and blab some important tidbit of information which I could then use to destroy them.  Well, that day is today!  I shall use this (air quotes) 'power of the sun' to complete my conquest of this pitiful dirt orb!  Wahahahahaaaaaaaaa!  But first, we must have lunch.

This is about the point where My Fair KidK begins.  Now fast forward a little, and I'll reprint the part of the story where Zim and Gir go to the Rite-Aid (you know, so there's no confusion about what's going on).  OK, here it is!

Zim:  Let's see…paper clips…

Gir:  Look, Master!  Make-up!

Zim:  Gir, let's try to focus, shall we?

Gir:  Wow, lookit the candy!

Zim:  *sigh*

Gir (pointing):  There they are!  Get the stripy ones!

Zim looks at the office supply shelf.  There are several kinds of paper clips, and one variety is indeed striped.

Zim:  But those are made of _plastic_!  I need _metal_ ones.

Gir:  Aw, man!  I was gonna make a necklace outta those…

Zim selects a box of plain silver paper clips, finds the orange juice (what is he up to?), and goes up to the counter to pay.

Counter-slave:  That'll be $8.80, sir.

Zim (muttering angrily):  Why does everything on this planet _cost_ so much?  It's all so stinkily made…stupid greedy worm monkeys…

Counter-slave (without any feeling whatsoever):  Thankyoucomeagain.

Zim:  You see if I do.

Alright, now Zim has his necessary materials, but what exactly is he plotting?  Now fast forward your brains past the rest of My Fair KidK to find out.

Zim:  I can't believe she embarrassed me like that in front of the Tallest!  Well, no matter.  They'll surely forget about the little incident once I implement my plan to enslave the humans.

Gir:  Look!  I made a bracelet!  (he holds up his arm for inspection.  It would appear that he's gotten into the paper clips)

Zim:  No, Gir, those aren't for your amusement!  Now do what I told you to do and unbend those things!

Gir (going red):  Yes, my master!

Zim (to himself):  The humans may _believe_ that their sun is on their side, and have even discovered a way to process its power into a liquid form, but once I am through with it, the sun shall scorch them all!  Muhahahahaaa!  Using a rod made of these simple paper clips, I will concentrate a beam of sun power from this orange juice and blast the sun with it, thus overloading it and causing it to become so bright that it will blind and burn the entire populace!

Gir (he's distracted again):  One time I burned the toast and the whole kitchen was full of smoke!  Mommy was mad and said a bad word to me.

Zim:  Gir!  Are you finished making the paper clips straight?

Gir:  Yup!  ^_^

Zim:  Then begin welding them together!  Soon, oh yes, very soon, the humans will run in fear from their own sun!  Then we'll _see_ if it's such a 'Sunny Delight!'

The next day, (cuz remember, it was getting late by the end of My Fair KidK) the paper clip rod is all set up, and is now part of a complicated laser cannon pointed at the sun.

Zim:  And now, for the final step of the plan!  Gir, pour in the orange juice.

Gir:  Ay ay, Captain!

Zim:  Gir…why are you wearing a pirate hat?

Gir:  Because I found it!

Zim:  Oh really?  Where?

Gir:  Somebody down the street hid it in a big silver thing and put it out at the curb…there was a monster going around eating all the things the people put out, and I had to save the hat!  It's my friend!  Shiver me timbers!

Zim:  ……….just put the orange juice in the holding tank.

Gir:  Ar, matey!

Zim:  Er, yes.  Now let's fire this thing!  Wahahahahaaaaa!  (he pushes the 'trigger' button)  Unleash the power of the sun!

Nothing happens.  Well, actually, _something_ happens, but not what was meant to happen.  What was _supposed_ to happen was a huge beam of sunlight, extracted from the Sunny D, shooting into the sun and making it too bright to stand.  What _really_ happens is that a little trickle of orange juice drips out of the cannon in a rather anticlimactic way.

Zim:  What could've gone wrong?  Let's see, I've got the right kind of orange juice, metal is a good conductor of energy, and a very thin rod ensures a concentrated blast.  So _why isn't this stupid thing firing_?!

Gir:  Yo ho ho!  I don't know!  Ooo, a rhyme!

Zim:  Well, _that_ was a waste of time.  I will just have to employ a _different_ plan to destroy the human scum.  Yes!  One of these days I _will_ be triumphant!  Now come, Gir, let us go and watch some TV.

Gir:  Yay!  Can we watch Inspector Gadget this time?

Zim:  Does this…_inspector_ work for the human government?

Gir:  He's a secret agent!  And he has all kinds of neat stuff in his hat!

Zim:  Hmmm, a multi-functional hat, you say?  This may be worth checking out…

Later that day, Mom and Dad come home from their lovely trip to the beach and Atlantic City.  They're coming up the stairs right now, as a matter of fact.

KidK's Mom:  Kids!  We're back from our trip, even though your father got us lost and we had to spend the night at a cheesy hotel!

KidK's Dad:  Hey!  You're just mad because you got a sunburn.  Well that's not my fault, and anyway I got one too.  So don't be mad at _me_!

KidK:  Hi Mom, hey Dad!  Wow, you guys really _did_ get burned!  Now maybe you'll understand why I hate the beach so much.

Zim:  Did someone say…sunburn?  (he sees KidK's parents and their severely reddened skin)  A ha!  So the beam was _invisible_, eh?  I knew my plan would work, because it was an amazing plan made by me!

KidK's Mom:  Plan?  What are you talking about?

Zim (ignoring her):  I have succeeded in bringing discomfort to the masses!  Now I need only fire one more beam into the sun to achieve full disintegration!  Muhahahahaaaaaa!

Gir:  But master, didn't you get mad and hit the sun cannon with a hammer?  My poor paperclips got all bent out of shape…

Zim:  ………Curses!  You're right!  How could I not have _known_?  (he pauses in his self-pity as another idea comes to mind)  But now that the humans have been burned and are probably right now at this moment frantically scrambling around, they will be all the more susceptible to my latest and greatest plan--to distract them all with shiny rocks while I use my go-go-gadget helicopter to sneak into their government headquarters!  Victory shall be mine!

And upon uttering these words, Zim races down to his lab to begin work on his new scheme.  Just a few hours later, he falls out of the sky when Gir's pirate hat is accidentally shredded by the propeller that has been installed into it.  It's sad, really.

_The End!_

_Just One More To Go!_


	3. A Little Light Music

Three Short Interludes

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage

Part 3--'A Little Light Music' 

          Okay, we're in the home stretch now!  Just one more little story to tell and my mind will finally be free!  Oh wait…I forgot about all those …other things…oh, God, why?!  Why must I be cursed with such an overactive imagination that I am constantly plagued with visions of things to write about?!  Ah, well, I suppose there are worse things to be cursed with.  Like dandruff…or lima beans.  Yikes!

Alright, enough of that.  This final tale takes place just after the epilogue of No Need For KidK!, making it kind of an epilogue in itself.  In fact, it was originally _supposed_ to be part of the epilogue, but I wanted to keep that short, and also I wanted the ending of No Need For KidK! to focus on KidK's relationship with Zim.  So…this got left on the imaginary cutting room floor of my brain.  If you don't remember what happened, let me explain very briefly:  you know how in Fun in the Dark, KidK loaned 'Nny a tape of Aqua songs?  Well, he's returned it to her as promised in No Need For KidK!.  And in that same story, our heroine presented her friend with a new tape featuring not only Aqua, but a bunch of other totally pointless and happy nonsense.  Got it?  Well, then, get reading already!  I haven't got all day, you know!  Oh, wait, yeah I do…

At house 777, Johnny is about to begin his usual nighttime journey to the 7-11 for brainfreezys.  The date--8/31.  The time--12:36.  On this particular night, however, 'Nny has something new to look forward to.  You see, since receiving a certain cassette tape from his good friend Missy (alias KidK), he's been listening to it during his nightly walks.  Tonight he'll finally get to the end of the tape, and oh, will he be surprised.

'Nny:  OK, got my money, got my Walkman, got my tape, so let's go.

Reverend Meat:  Yes, Johnny, go!  Go and indulge!  Feed your addiction!

'Nny:  I'm not addicted;  I don't _need_ brainfreezy to live.  It's not like I'm giving in to an _urge_ or anything--this is just something to do, to get me out of the house for a while.  I _want_ to go out, I _want_ to have a brainfreezy, and I _want_ to find out why Missy wrote 'A Surprise' at the end of the list of songs on this tape, but I can shut _off_ those wants at any time if I feel like it.

Reverend Meat:  You mean if you _want_ to?

'Nny:  Oh, shut up.  Stop trying to ruin my evening.

Reverend Meat:  And speaking of that girl, Missy was it?  She's _another_ one of your addictions, _isn't_ she?  I'll bet you couldn't shut off your want to see _her_, _could_ you?

'Nny:  You know, if you're me-- one of my little head voices, so to speak--then you understand about Missy.  And if you're _not_ me, if you're trying to control me like all the others, then know this--if you say one more word about her, you're going in the trash compactor.  _I_ control me, and that's that!  I don't have to do anything that anyone else orders me to!  Hell, I don't even have to do what my own _body_ tells me to do!  Don't have to sleep, don't have to eat…not unless, at that moment, _I_ want to do those things.  And right now, _I_ want to walk to the 7-11 and have a brainfreezy.  So goodbye, and I hope you fall off a cliff while I'm gone.

He slams the door and begins his walk, humming along to 'Around the World.'  It's so late at night that there's no one else around, just the odd car racing by at top speed (people drive faster at night, when they can't see--it's a scientifically proven fact).  Meanwhile, at about the same time, KidK is getting rather frustrated up in her dorm room at Douglass College.

Diane (on the phone):  So I told him I need him to bring my CD player, and he was all like, 'It won't fit in my trunk.'  So I was all sad, but then I told him he could lay it on its side and that it'd fit that way, and he said he'd bring it!  (pause)  Yeah, of course!  We can totally listen to my CDs!  (pause)  Well, I've got Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys…all the good stuff!  We can even have a CD _party_ if you want!  My roommate won't mind!  (pause)  You'll bring Cheez Doodles?  Oh, that's so _sweet_ of you, Cheyenne!

KidK (thinking):  _Ay yi **yi**…when will that girl ever shut **up**?  I want to go to bed, but if she's just going to yap all night I'll **never** get to sleep…not that I would anyway; I have a feeling my insomnia will be worse since I won't be in my own bed…crikey, this smells.  Well, if I'm going to be up anyway, at least I shouldn't have to listen to **her**.  Since 'Nny-kun finally gave me my tape back, I can listen to that._  (she gets out her headphones and the tape, but notices something is different about it)  _Hmmm, what's this?  Why in the world did he cross off 'Heat of the Night' and replace it with 'Special Secret Surprise?'  Well, we'll see about **that**, now **won't** we?_

Incredible Author Note:  my 'Squee!' TPB just came!  The UPS man must be freezing his butt off in those little shorts today!  Oh, wonder of wonders, now my life is truly complete!  OK, where was I…oh yes…Johnny at the 7-11!  Wahoo!

Counter Slave:  That'll be a dollar an' 99 cents.

'Nny:  Ah, a price hike, eh?  Used to be only 1.95…and when I say 'used to be,' I mean it was yesterday.

Counter Slave:  Uh, yeah, so it is…well, you can't blame me for tryin', can ya?  Hur hur hur…

'Nny:  Do you mean to say that you were _purposely_ trying to trick me into paying you an extra four cents?

Counter Slave:  Just my little joke, see?

'Nny:  A little joke that'd make _me_ look like a _fool_.  Now, I don't know about your other customers, but _I_ don't appreciate that kind of humor.  You really love money _that_ much that you'd steal mere _pennies_?  And what are they really worth, anyway, in the long run?  They're just coins, just _metal_!  And that means more to you than treating your customers with the respect due to them as fellow human beings?  

Counter Slave:  Hey, I don't need to respect _you_, you little weasel!  Now get outta my store before I throw you out myself!

'Nny:  Oh really?  Well in that case, I take back my final words.  For you are not, as your appearance makes you out to be, human in any decent sense of the word.  Therefore I should not be surprised at your less-than-human behavior, your animal instinct to put yourself before others.  'Survival of the fittest,' eh?  I suppose you believe that if you cheat others out of their money, however insignificant, you can be top dog?  No, not top _dog_--dogs are _loyal_…and cute.  No, you're vermin, a rat that kills other rats for their cheese.  And as your yellow teeth close around your ill-earned prize, you'll never hear the trap go off…until it's too late.  (he smiles as he unsheathes one of his many knives)

Counter Slave (scared--knives have that effect on people):  Okay, okay, you can have your money back!  See, you can have your 'freezy for free!  No charge, get it?!

'Nny:  Oh, no.  This is hardly about _money_.  I'm not like you; I couldn't care less about paper and metal.  (then why is he so upset?)  But _you_, you love such things, so much that, now, you will die for them.  Your shortsighted pursuit of meaningless material has rendered you blind to the bigger picture, to life.  But now you'll finally see.  Though…(he leans in close and enunciates each word)  _It's_.  _Too_.  **_Late_**.  

At this point in time, I think it's best that I preserve at least a PG rating by simply saying, 'And then some stuff happened.  A lot.'  I just can't write about 'Nny without him getting out of control and brutally murdering someone, can I?  What a nice guy…  Anyway, then some stuff happened.  A lot.

'Nny:  Huh.  These people put me in such a bad mood.  And during my favorite song, too!  (the song, 'An Apple a Day,' fades as 'Nny makes his exit from the now slightly redder 7-11.  Then there's a long pause)  Hmmmm, guess that's the end.  But then why does it say 'Surprise?'

KidK (on the tape):  Hey, don't rewind that tape yet!  

'Nny:  Eek!  It's aliiiiive!  Heh, I am funny.

KidK:  Surprise!  Though I suppose it really shouldn't be, since I purposely wrote 'A Surprise' on the tape.  Oh, well, you can still be surprised about what this is, even if you weren't surprised that it's here.  

'Nny (sarcastically to himself):  Stop playing with me, girl, and tell me what it is!

KidK:  See, I made a guess, based on something you said a few days ago, about what your favorite Aqua song could be.  And as it turns out, it's my favorite too!  So I thought, what better way to end a tape full of pointless nonsense than with one of the most pointless and nonsensical activities known to mankind?  I speak of--bum bum bummmmm--karaoke.  Yes, I am going to karaoke for you a song that I hope will cheer you up as much as it always cheers me up.  And if it doesn't, well…at least you can laugh at my lack of singing skills.

'Nny (thinking):  _Hmmm…karaoke, eh?  What a coincidence…_  

KidK:  Now listen as I do the unthinkable and have the same song twice in a row on the same tape!  Yeah!

'Nny:  _Well what do you know?  **She got it right**._

The song begins and KidK starts to sing.  She's no Lene, needless to say, but she's clearly putting her heart into this.  It's sweet really.  Much sweeter than _I'd_ be, that's for sure. But wait…I'm…(at this point, the author had an identity crisis and committed suicide.  Nah, not really, that was just one of my _other_ personalities…she won't be missed)

KidK (singing--duh, didn't I just say that?):  _Wel_come to the clichés; _wel_come to the part, _where_ we wanna finish _what_ we can't start.  Come and get me!  Just _don't_ miss the water, '_til_ the well is dry;   
You've _got_ta learn walking _af_ter you can fly.  Come and get us!

'Nny (singing along):  What goes _in_, will get _out_.  What goes _up_, comes right _down_.  We go up, we go up, we go up!

KidK:  You know an apple a _day_….won't keep the doctor a_way_.  We're never taught what we _teach_ and won't _prac_tice what we _preach_!  
You know an apple a _day_…won't keep my troubles a_way_.  
Once _bit_ten bye, bye!  All the _cli_chés here to die.

Nice sentiment, yes?  Well, what part of it you can make sense of, anyway.  But let's find out what KidK's doing now.

KidK (singing along in her head):  _I am coming from Mars, where there are no cheap cigars!  And Elvis has said, that I can be just like they aaaaaaaare!  Meet the staaaaaaaaars!  They're from Maaaaaaaaaars!_  (the song ends)  _Well, that's it.  Now to find out what this so-called surprise is all about._

'Nny (on the tape):  Hiya, Missy.

KidK:  _Oh, no, Johnny, they shrank you and stuffed you in my tape!  Hee, I'm funny._

'Nny:  You'll never guess where I am…so I'll just tell you.  I'm at the Sakura Karaoke Sushi Bar.  Now, you might be thinking to yourself, 'Oh, but isn't it closed at this time of night?'  And, indeed, it _is_ closed.  However, the nice security guard is letting me be here for a little while because he is nice.  

KidK:  _I'll bet._

'Nny:  I just want to take a few moments to express my thanks to you for a lovely evening tonight, and for everything else you've done for me.  While this song hardly conveys what I truly want to say to you, it will have to suffice for now.  Please enjoy it, whether you truly like it or just wish to laugh at my lack of singing skills.

KidK:  _He's going to karaoke?  Imagine that…_

The song begins.  This here tune is called 'When I See You Smile,' and it's by a band called Bad English.  I like it.  Um…yeah, that's all.

'Nny (singing):  Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through--  
through this world without having you.  I just wouldn't have a clue.  
'Cause sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me,  
and there's no way of breaking free, and then I see you reach for me…

KidK:  _Now, how in the world could he possibly know that I like this song?  I'm sure I never said.  Hmmm…odd, that._

'Nny:  Sometimes I wanna _give_ up, I wanna _give_ in, I wanna _quit_ the fight--  
And then I see you, Missy, and everything's all right…everything's alright.  

KidK:  _And he put my **name** in it!  *squeeeee!*_

'Nny:  When I _see_ you smile, I can face the world, _oh_…you know I can do anything.  When I _see_ you smile, I see a ray of light, _oh_…I see it shining right through the rain--When I see you smile, Missy when I see you smile…at me.

KidK_:  OK, well **now** I'm gonna cry.  And that's not going to be good._

And so I shall end this final story before KidK blubbers at the insane sweetness of it all and makes a fool of herself.  After all, she _is_ me--one of my little head voices, so to speak--and I've gotta watch out for her.  So let's fade out, OK, on Johnny walking home from the 7-11 and on KidK looking out the window of her dorm room--each listening to the other's voice, both smiling up at the night sky.

'Nny:  When I _see_ you smile, I can face the world, _oh_, you know I can do anything.  When I see you smile, oh yeah, Missy when I see you smile…smile at me.

KidK:  We _are_ what we are; what's _built_ up will fall.  _Do_ what you want…and be happy.

_The End!_

_Finally!  Yay!  I Jump Up and Down Now!  Ooops!  I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!!_


End file.
